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Friday, October 21, 2011

The gift that keeps on giving...

A few days ago, I happened to mention Vice President Joe Biden in conversation. My friend, who shall remain nameless, rolled her eyes and proclaimed him "a tool." I shrugged and said, "I used to think so, but not anymore. In fact, I really like him lately." The confused look on her face was priceless. "Explain," she demanded. And so I did.

Joe Biden used to irritate me. I disagree with his politics,  I think he's fundamentally wrong on most important issues, and from what I've seen I doubt I'd even want to have a beer with the guy. (Well, I don't drink, but I think the analogy would stand if I substituted coffee for beer.) So why would I say that I like him if that is how I feel about him? Because Joe Biden is the gift that keeps on giving. Just about every time he opens his mouth, whether or not he realizes that the mic is live, he says something that makes even the least intelligent conservative look like the head of a think tank.
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, "Look, here's what happened...'" Which would have been quite moving if a)FDR had been President when the stock market crashed in 1929 (he was elected in 1932) or b)television had been past the experimental stages at the time. 
He famously asked Missouri State Senator Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, to "Stand up, Chuck, let them see ya!"
There are definitely plenty more "Bidenisms" I could draw from, but what really caught my attention is the drivel he has been spewing in the last week in a misguided attempt to promote President Obama's "New-Stimulus-Same-as-the-Old-Stimulus" Jobs Bill. Referencing statistics from the city of Flint, Michigan, Biden asserted that Obama's job bill and the additional funding it would provide for police manpower is the only thing standing between the innocent population and the virtual guarantee that they would come to physical harm. He cited FBI rape and murder statistics, statistics that don't quite add up according to the Washington Post. Yet Biden stands by his assessment, effectively doubling down on his own bad information. 

So yes, I enjoy watching Joe Biden, waiting for what gem of wisdom he will bestow upon us next.

Incidentally, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is in the running for the title as well. After all, it's because of her we're aware that "the evil Republicans are trying to make it a crime to be in this country illegally."

I couldn't write stuff this good if I tried.

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